Author Archive for Joshua Norton II


Metroid Prime Trilogy: Impression bullet list

OK, some hours into Metroid Prime, upgraded for the Wii, here’s what you need to know:

  • The controller upgrade works just as well as with Corruption, leading to a fairly accurate style of controlling, which will tear your right wrist apart again.
  • The graphics seem slightly technically updated, although I’m sure it’s only minor stuff. In any event, the designs of Tallon VI are bloody beautiful, and I expect MP2 to also deliver. Creative design trumps polygon count any day in my book.
  • If you liked Metroid Corruption but didn’t get a chance to play the predecessors on account of never having owned a Gamecube – a combination I believe is very common amongst older Wii owners – then you get two good games for the price of one.
  • If you haven’t played any of the Metroid Prime games yet, you get -three- good games for the price of one.
  • I don’t even like FPS games (this particular view is rather scary), but Metroid is different enough to make me go through with it.
  • If you’ve actually played through all the MP games already, don’t bother. I mean seriously. There’s enjoying the game, and there’s being a fanboy.

Sure, I haven’t played through the entire game yet, but it’s pretty much just what I expected when I bought it. If you actually want to know what the MP series is like, just read this review I made of Corruption some time ago.


Stop celebrating shit

The Hat would like you to ask yourself one thing: Just how retarded has society become, that it has found in itself to celebrate pure annoyance?

Apparently, it’s the international Caps Lock day (which I refuse to dignify with capital I and D), and let us be completely honest here, this isn’t scraping the bottom of the barrel. This isn’t even scraping the bottom of the well. We are talking about drilling a hole that ends up two centimetres above the exact center of the earth, and then sending someone to scrape this part.

There is nothing to celebrate. It is instead a tragedy, a monument to the fact that nobody under the age of 18 should be allowed to traverse the internet, and even then, they should be required to take a test, much like a driver’s license.

The Hat does not require perfect language from its followers. Shorthand terms may look strange, but they generally carry a purpouse if done right. The Hat’s unworthy rogue prophet proclaims himself a DPS when searching for a group because he wants to spend his gaming time gaming, and people have been accustomed to the term so that if he wrote “rogue”, there would be a moment of confusion whilst the mental gears of potential group-makers switched (from neutral to first gear).

But Caps Locking are, and will forever be, 99% abused, 99% obnoxious, and 0% worth celebrating even when used right. Because then it’s simply just a tool, and I for one don’t go celebrate my fucking hammer every time I hit a nail.


Metroid Prime Trilogy: Got art?

I bought Metroid Prime Trilogy today, but I haven’t played it yet, and it will not be possible to do this until tomorrow. However, I’m already having a good impression by this little folder/pamphlet thingie that on one side carries the entire story of the Prime series (and also the background on Samus Aran), and the other side is filled up with concept art.

Of course, concept art isn’t usually the thing I care about the most, but I’m gladly making an exception in this case. This stuff is -stunning- to say the least. From what I remember of MP: Corruption, it had a really strong design going on that’s admittedly limited by the Wii hardware, and if there is one day a machine that can faithfully reproduce some of these paintings – yes, paintings, no other noun does them justice – in game form, my life as I know it is complete.

I will return with impressions of the game later on, but for now, I will be content to know that the legacy of H.R. Geiger is carried on with full force. And if this legacy is carried on in a game series, indeed a brand, as strong as Metroid, then we are all the better for it.


The Hat is blogging

Truly, through a remarkable feat of stunning use of technology, The Hat has leapt out from merely being confined to the European Bladefist server in World of Warcraft, to having its own blog. This goes to show only a tiny fraction of the almighty powers of The Hat.

To get a better idea on who and what The Hat is, the obvious choice would be to use the “About” link, which The Hat just reproduced here in order for you to understand some of the full ramifications going on here.

July 2018
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